Labels and Gender Identity: a Bible-based Guideline for Talking to Your Child

Under 18? Due to the sensitive nature of this topic, please ask a parent before reading.

 


Recently, my nine year old asked me a difficult question.

“Mom, am I a tomboy?”

I wanted to give her a short and easy answer like “Yes, and there is nothing wrong with that,” but with everything that is going on in the world today (including the buzz about gender identity), I felt I owed her a better explanation.

I would like to share my response with you and invite you to use it for yourself, if and when you decide to broach the subject with your own children.

Firstly, the word “tomboy” is just a label, nothing more. It can be a label given to you by someone else, or one that you use for yourself, but it is still a label.

Labels are our way of trying to fit people into categories, but people don’t fit into nice neat categories. No two people are exactly the same. One girl who identifies as a “tomboy” might still enjoy playing with dolls or playing dress up, while another “tomboy” might not like any “girl things.”

God made each and every one of us special and different.   


People have created these labels of “girl toys” or “girl colors” and they try to get people to fit into their mold by telling little boys “don’t play with that doll, that’s a girl toy,” or “pink is a girl color, you should like blue instead.” (I, too have fallen into the trap of saying these things to my children at times.)

This can be confusing to children, and the more they hear it, the more they start to believe that maybe God messed up when they were born. Maybe they really should have been born a girl instead of a boy, or vice versa.

Some people feel this so strongly that they have surgery to make them look more like a girl or more like a boy.

As Christians, we know that God doesn’t make mistakes. He made us each different on purpose because he has a different plan for each of us.

The Bible tells us in Psalms 139:13 “For You (God) created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb.” Here is another article which explains this verse in more detail.

I want you to be who you are and to be always seeking to be who God wants you to be. If you like being called a “tomboy,” then you can call yourself one. If not, you can just be a special kind of girl who likes hunting and Tae Kwon Do.

I also want you to remember that God does not want us to judge those people who choose this surgery or to make fun of them. He loves them even though they sin, just like he loves us even though we sin.

Thank you so much for reading to the end of this post. If you use this to help explain this sensitive subject, I would love if you would come back and share with all of us in the comments.

Trash in My Hand

“Here, Mom.” An empty candy wrapper appears in my hand, placed there by my 2 year old. It is quickly joined by another from my 9 year old. Other times, it’s a sucker stick, soda can, or previously chewed bubble gum.

I admit, sometimes this drives me crazy. I want to yell, “Just find a place for it!”

But I know better. I know the “place” they will put it will be on the ground, or stuck into the crack between my car seats. And that would drive me crazy too.

Walking through the park with my kids, I see trash littering the ground. Candy papers and popsicle sticks. I see a little boy, trailing behind his mama, drop his M&M bag on the ground. Mama turns around and tells him to come on, but leaves the candy bag.

My son runs over and picks it up. He looks up at me and asks “Throw trash?” I lift him up so he can reach the trash can and he tosses it in. See, I’m not always a human garbage magnet. The kids will throw things away themselves if they know where a trash can is.

I’m happy they don’t want to throw their trash on the ground, and that they are willing to pick up after others as well.

So, even though I walk around with sticky fingers and trash wadded in my palm; even though I am constantly in search of a trash can so that I can relieve my pockets of the refuse within; I am glad that my children hand me their trash. And when sticky fingers press used chewing gum into my palm, and I want to say, “Eww, go throw that away,” instead, I can smile and say “Thank you.”

Do your children use you as their personal trash collector? What is the yuckiest thing you have ever been handed?

Time Savers: Bakin' yer Bacon

 

 

I can bring home the bacon...I can fry the bacon...I even know how to save my own bacon (usually), but baking bacon? That just sounds unnatural, so of course I had to give it a try. Here is what I learned, and a step by step tutorial on doing it yourself.

 

Step 1: Set oven to 350 degrees 

 

Step 2: Cut entire slab of bacon in half with kitchen shears. I use kitchen shears because I can cut through the whole slab much easier than with a knife.

 

Cutting your bacon in half is not strictly necessary, but I wanted sandwich-sized bacon.

 

Step 3: Lay a sheet of parchment paper (if available) on a cookie sheet with edges (you don't want hot grease rolling off the sides into your oven.) Now lay out your bacon in whatever arrangement works best for your pan and your purposes. You can see I reuse my paper until I have all my bacon baked.

Step 4: Put your bacon in the preheated oven for 20-30 minutes depending on how crisp you like it. (Ok, so this is a picture of me taking it out, but doesn't it look yummy?)

Step 5: Use a spatula to move the cooked bacon to a paper-towel covered plate to drain.

Step 6: Yum! Drool a little...and then sneak a piece when no one is looking. From this point, you can devour all the yummy goodness or save some for later.

Step 7: We made a couple of sandwiches and put the rest (I cooked 2 lbs) into a Ziploc bag with another paper towel to catch any extra grease. Store it in the fridge, so it's available for sandwiches, bacon bits, a quick breakfast, or just to sneak a piece now and then.

 

Warning: You may need to hide the bacon or put it in a tub marked {insert something your family hates to eat}--to keep it from disappearing too quickly.

Step 8: Don't throw out that bacon grease! Save it for the next time you make eggs, fried potatoes, cornbread, or whatever else you might want to flavor with bacon grease. My grease jar today used to be a baby food jar, and it just barely holds the grease. Learn more about grease jars here.

 

Step 9: Throw out your parchment paper and put your clean pan back in the cupboard. Or, if you didn't have parchment paper, buy some for next time and then take dish soap and squirt a good amount on your pan. Use your hand to make sure the entire pan is covered, including corners. Let the pan sit for an hour or two and then wash off with a sponge.

 

Step 10: Tell all yer friend's about my "Bakin' yer Bacon" post so they can try it too!

 

Now, wasn't that easy? No more bacon splatters from skillet frying either!

What on earth is a Grease Jar?

Grease Jars:

Hillcreek Pottery sampling of Grease Jars at +Silver Dollar City Attractions 

Perhaps you have heard the term grease jar before, and perhaps you have not. To be honest, I don’t recall ever hearing the term growing up, but I am aware that my grandmother used one and most likely yours did too. 

A grease jar is just a jar of bacon grease which is going to be used later for something else. They are especially popular with people who enjoy cooking with cast iron because they help to keep the cast iron well-seasoned.

My grandmother kept her grease jar beside the stove, and used her grease often enough that it did not go bad. Some people still keep them next to the stove but I worry about spoilage and keep mine in the fridge.

Okay, my current grease jar is an old canning jar, but I love this one 

from Hillcreek Pottery at +Silver Dollar City Attractions 

When you are ready to use your grease, bring it out of the fridge and scoop it out like shortening--or you can warm it up a bit to use it as a liquid.

I had planned to write an entire post dedicated to grease jars and their use, but there is someone else who has already done it—and probably better than I could. Christy Jordan at SouthernPlate.com is who originally taught me (through her posts) the wonders of bacon grease. 

Sure, I had reused grease to fry eggs but that was about the extent of it. Christy showed me what I was missing.

Read about grease jars here and here on her website and look around at all of the other great recipes and stories she shares. 

Do you have a grease jar? Did your grandma have one? 

10 Ways to Teach Children the True Spirit of Christmas

In this world of consumerism and blatant disregard for others feelings, wants, needs, and happiness, I think it is time to take a step back an look at what we are teaching the future generation. ( I am guilty also--I'm certainly not pointing fingers.) Knowing many of you out there are facing this same dilemma, I created a list of activities you can do with your children to keep the true Spirit of Christmas alive.


1.  Bake cookies to take to your local nursing home, (some nursing homes may not allow this--you could also knit, crochet, or sew a small gift or ornament, or just go and visit with the residents   there).

They may not be pretty but the kids had a blast making these cookies.

2.  Volunteer at a local homeless shelter or soup kitchen if your children are old enough (or maybe a food pantry if you have younger children). Or take toys and games to a local Children's hospital and stay to visit and play with the children who have to be in the hospital this time of year. (Please don't take a sick child to the hospital to play with other sick children...we don't want to spread germs around. There are plenty of children in the hospital though who are not contagious--I would definitely call ahead for this one though).

3.  Adopt an Angel from the Angel Tree and let your child help with the shopping. (If you need to answer Santa questions, remind your child of the gifts he or she gets from parents, siblings etc and that these moms and dads also want to be able to give their child something). There are other options here as well, such as Operation Christmas Child, Toys for Tots etc.

4.  If you have the means, adopt a whole Christmas family! They may need everything from tree and trimmings to food for Christmas dinner as well as gifts for under the tree.

5.  Make secret gift baskets for your neighbors. When you deliver the basket, ring their doorbell and run (the kids will love the "secret" part of this one.

6.  Encourage your children to part with gently used books and toys they no longer play with. Explain that you will take them to a store where parents who can't afford new toys can buy them for their children. (Personally, I shop second-hand stores even when I have the means to purchase new...I find excellent deals on books especially).

7.  Have a homemade Christmas where none of the gifts are store-bought. (Or you can allow your child to ask for only one or two special gifts and have the rest be homemade).

I made this "Rapunzel" hat for Munchkin last Christmas.

8.  Shop local businesses instead of big box stores so that area merchants can have a good Christmas too. (Chances are, those gifts are of higher quality as well). Explain to your children why you are shopping local vendors. (I frequently order cupcakes or cookies from a local bakery even though I enjoy making those things for myself...it keeps my money in the community).

9.  Make a big deal of it when your child does something to help someone else. Tell them how proud you are...they are more likely to do it again if you notice and praise them for it.

10.  Take your children to church, not just at Christmas, but year-round. Pray for them and with them, remembering those less fortunate in your prayers. Opportunities to volunteer abound in churches...volunteer! Keep the spirit of giving alive all year. (If you don't like the church you previously attended or visited, keep looking...find the church God is leading you to.)

I hope this list gives you some ideas on how to keep the Christmas spirit alive in your family. Feel free to add your own ideas in the comments section, and stay tuned for more Christmas posts and tutorials for hand-made gifts.

Check out my link party page to see where I am linking.

Creation Truth

From the time that I was a child I have been taught that creation is true according to the Bible. I have believed that and do believe it still, but I never knew how to defend it to someone preaching evolution at me. I never realized that the fossil record actually backs up what the Bible tells us in Genesis...until tonight.

Tonight at church we had a special program called Animal Tales. (Click the link to learn more). The presenter taught us about how the fossil record backs up the truth of creation. 

We are taught in school that birds are descended from dinosaurs, and that dinosaurs lived millions of years ago, so the Bible cannot possibly be true. 

Why is it that scientists believe dinosaurs lived millions of years ago? The layers of sedimentary rock that show various fossils "prove" dinosaurs lived long ago. 

But what happens if you put different types of sediment and silt in a jar with water and shake it up...then let it sit undisturbed? It settles back out into layers! (So the layers of sediment only prove that the flood in Noah's time really happened!)

The fossil record also proves in another way that the flood truly happened. Over 85% of the Earth's surface is covered with fossils of animals that suddenly died, all at the same time, by drowning. There are fossils of ocean fish and seashells that have been found in the mountains as well. Fossil record proves that a world-wide cataclysmic flood did occur.

Why are dinosaurs not mentioned in the Bible? The King James Bible was translated in 1611, but the word dinosaur was not used until 1841. The Bible simply used a different word. (In many verses the word used was Dragon.) There are mentions of Dragons also in log books of the Roman soldiers. 

I also did not know that reptiles never stop growing. In the time of Noah, reptiles could live for 300+ years...I can imagine they would get large enough in that time to be a "dinosaur." This also explains how they fit on the ark (the ones taken on the ark would not have been the 300 year old ones.)

How did Noah fit two of every animal on the Ark? He did not need two German Shepherds and two Toy Poodles etc. He only needed two of the most genetically complex of each type of animal (all breeds of dogs are descended from Grey Wolves...the most genetically complex of the dog type of animal). However, dogs only turned into other dogs...no dog went back up the ladder and made a more genetically complex dog, nor did it turn into an Eagle.

Tonight was truly a revelation to me; I wish I had learned sooner because I think it would have made my faith that much stronger. I felt the need to share this tonight with someone, so thank you for taking the time to read it. I am excited to share this program with my home-school group, and see if we might have him come and do a program for our children.

Check out my link party page to see where I am linking.

What's Your Status?

Please allow me a few moments to rant about one of my biggest pet peeves. The touching stories on Facebook or other social media, or even via text message which, at the end of them say, "Repost if you love God, if you do not repost you are ashamed of Him" or any other such nonsense.

I am a Christian, and many times those stories touch me so that I would feel inclined to share them...however, nine times out of ten I do not. My reason for not reposting such stories is that I feel it cheapens my relationship with God to have to defend it to another person by reposting. I hope that my friends and my family are able to know by my actions that I am a child of God, and I certainly don't think I need to repost a story in order to affirm my beliefs.

After all, a non-believer can just as easily hit "share" and have others think highly of him, but it is much more difficult for a non-believer to walk the walk with Jesus by his side. You cannot see Jesus in a non-believer, his life is not changed, but he reposted your story...so he must be a Christian right? This type of thinking can easily lead non-believers down the wrong path, and possibly believers too. They see someone post an "I love God" story, then look at that persons life and see the misery of a lost person...lost people have enough misery in their life already, why would they want to become a Christian? On the other hand, a changed life, a joyful life; that is something that people want. If you have joy in your life and are able to share that joy with others even when you are facing trials, that is the mark of a true Christian--not a Facebook status update.

So, to my family and friends, please do not ever think that I will think less of you if you do not repost the silly chain-letter "I love God" as your status "for one hour so that something good will happen." Instead, take the few seconds it would take to repost that story, and check in with God for a true "status update." Instead of thinking God will answer your prayer because you reposted some nonsense, ask in faith, believing that He will answer, and He will. God doesn't care what your Facebook status update says...He cares about the status of your heart, and whether or not it belongs to Him.

End of rant...thank you for listening!

How do you feel about those "chain" posts? Do you repost?

"Ye Who Are Weary, Come Home"

How many times have we heard those words? "Ye who are weary, come home..." Personally, I'm certain I have heard them hundreds of times, but never before have they affected me as they did tonight. I was on my way to church listening to my Alan Jackson CD Precious Memories, when the song Softly and Tenderly starts playing.

I was singing along as always, minding my own business when suddenly those words connected in my mind to Rebekah (my sister passed away almost 5 years ago.) It just hit me that she was "weary." I know she must have been; so tired of battling her cancer, weary of the hospitals and chemo and radiation, tired of the pain she was in and of not being able to communicate with her family. I had never before put this song into this context, so many times I felt instead that we were robbed; that she was stolen from us before her time.

I know she would not have wanted to leave her family behind either, but when God called her to "come home," I believe she answered that call as one of the "weary." And when she got there, I know her burdens were lifted and she was able to look down on her family with a smile, knowing that we all are in His hands! She no longer knows sorrow or sadness, she is with her Maker, she is with family members who have gone before, and she eagerly awaits the day when we are called home to join her. And there will be great rejoicing.

The sudden understanding that she was one of the weary really impacted me. She did not leave her home, she went to her Home! Here are two of my favorite pictures of her--total opposites in terms of her appearance, but both beautiful in their own way.

Beautiful picture of my sister when she was healthy.

Another beautiful picture of my sister after cancer and it's treatments changed her outward appearance. Inside, though, she was still the same beautiful Rebekah that we will always love and never forget.

Thank you for reading along and letting me share. If you knew her, you will never forget her, and if you didn't, I just hope this post touches you in regards to someone you do know.

Check out my Link Parties page for a list of all the parties I link to each week.

Making Plarn

Well, for some reason, I still can't get my post to the top of the page and pictures at the bottom, so here it is anyway...just scroll down for the post.

Braided Rug (made from old scrubs)

Crocheted Rug ("Yarn" made out of old t-shirts)

Aly's Plarn Purse (Recycled grocery bags)

Caprisun Lunchbox (Umm...recycled Caprisun pouches)

Yesterday morning I found myself eating cheerios for breakfast while making "Plarn" (plastic bag yarn...out of recycled grocery bags). I felt a little like a child again...making something from something else (remember macaroni necklaces) or just pretending it was something else. I have made only one thing so far from plarn...a small purse for my daughter to put her things in (it holds 3 or so My Little Ponys...her current favorite). I have plenty of raw material for more now though! I had about 3 grocery bags full of bags which I have now condensed down into a few balls. I used some different types of bags too that were a little thicker, so hopefully they will work as well.

Dave always teases me about repurposing and recycling to make yarn out of strange things, but I know he is happy I am not spending money on real yarn anymore lol...or atleast very rarely. Dave may think I'm crazy, but I recently learned that my dad thinks its neat to repurpose! He came to visit and I was showing him all of my recent creations and he was impressed. I will post some pictures below. He also told me when we move back to KY (next month) he has several bags of grocery bags for me. YAY free material!