How to be a Good Neighbor

I want to take just a minute to talk about the Orlando shooting. First, let's stop arguing about whether the shooter is an American extremist, or a Muslim extremist. The point is, he killed people and their families are hurting.

You know what hurts the families even more? Everyone arguing over whether this guy hated their loved one because they were American or because of their LGTBQ lifestyle. Those people don't care why their loved one was killed, but they might care what we are all going to do about it.

And, before you go there, I am NOT going to say increase gun control. That's not the answer folks, and it never will be. (Unless, of course, guns begin loading, aiming, and firing themselves.)

What I am referring to, is being the change this world needs. If each and every person who reads this post will commit to loving others the way that Jesus loved, it could spark a small movement. If everyone who reads, also shares it, the movement would grow.

As the Lorax said, "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not." So, what about it? Do you care "a whole awful lot?"

Christians these days are being portrayed as haters of Muslims, Gays, Trans, Blacks, Mexicans and so on. Let me ask you, Christian, is that who you are? No?

So tell me how you are showing God's love to those people then? Do you preach at them? (Not love.) Invite them to church so they will see the error of their ways? (Not love.) Boycott their business because of their political affiliation, race, religion, or lifestyle choices? (Also, not love.) Refuse to make their wedding cake because you disagree with their choices? (Still not love.) Maybe you really believe that you have every right to refuse them service, and maybe that's true, but does it further the kingdom of Heaven? Does your refusal to make their cake reflect Christian love and forgiveness? Those people you refused to serve, God loves them too. 

And they aren't the only ones looking at you. The eyes of lost people everywhere are on you too. Are they thinking, "Wow, I want what she has--that kind of conviction about my beliefs--to be able to just turn down that order and their money?" Or are they thinking, "Wow, Christians are bigots and terrible people. How can they be so heartless?"

So, like I asked, are your actions furthering the kingdom of Heaven? Or paving the road to Hell? Personally, I don't believe that God is going to turn me away from heaven for choosing to love others rather than alienate them.

Here are a few ways that you can love your neighbor.

-Invite them to places (not just to church, but to family dinner, BBQs, and hanging out at the pool.

-Accept them where they are--this does not mean you have to agree with their lifestyle, or religious or political views--just that you value them as a person.

-Let your kids play together. (This may necessitate a conversation with your child beforehand about how Jenny has 2 dads, and we should show them love and kindness even though we may not agree with their choices.)

-Stick up for them when you hear others talking down or gossiping. (This may make you unpopular with the modern day Pharisees.)

-Pray for them--not just that they realize their choices are "wrong" but pray that God moves in their life and blesses them abundantly.

Remember Matthew 22:39 "Love your neighbor as yourself." Not, Love your neighbors with similar political views, or love your neighbors if they are straight, or love your neighbors if they are good people. NO! It says Love your neighbor.

Remember the story of the good samaritan? (Luke 10:30-37). The Samaritin was supposed to hate this guy he helped--maybe he was a Trans man or woman who got beat up/robbed/raped because of his/her lifestyle. Maybe he helped a mama that has been shamed about allowing her child to fall into a gorilla pit. Let me ask you, can YOU be the Good Samaritin to THAT man or woman?

Lord, help me to learn to Love like Jesus. Help me to be willing to look past the labels and lifestyles, and to rise above the name-calling, judgemental person I can sometimes be. Help me to be the change that my community needs. Amen.

Labels and Gender Identity: a Bible-based Guideline for Talking to Your Child

Under 18? Due to the sensitive nature of this topic, please ask a parent before reading.

 


Recently, my nine year old asked me a difficult question.

“Mom, am I a tomboy?”

I wanted to give her a short and easy answer like “Yes, and there is nothing wrong with that,” but with everything that is going on in the world today (including the buzz about gender identity), I felt I owed her a better explanation.

I would like to share my response with you and invite you to use it for yourself, if and when you decide to broach the subject with your own children.

Firstly, the word “tomboy” is just a label, nothing more. It can be a label given to you by someone else, or one that you use for yourself, but it is still a label.

Labels are our way of trying to fit people into categories, but people don’t fit into nice neat categories. No two people are exactly the same. One girl who identifies as a “tomboy” might still enjoy playing with dolls or playing dress up, while another “tomboy” might not like any “girl things.”

God made each and every one of us special and different.   


People have created these labels of “girl toys” or “girl colors” and they try to get people to fit into their mold by telling little boys “don’t play with that doll, that’s a girl toy,” or “pink is a girl color, you should like blue instead.” (I, too have fallen into the trap of saying these things to my children at times.)

This can be confusing to children, and the more they hear it, the more they start to believe that maybe God messed up when they were born. Maybe they really should have been born a girl instead of a boy, or vice versa.

Some people feel this so strongly that they have surgery to make them look more like a girl or more like a boy.

As Christians, we know that God doesn’t make mistakes. He made us each different on purpose because he has a different plan for each of us.

The Bible tells us in Psalms 139:13 “For You (God) created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb.” Here is another article which explains this verse in more detail.

I want you to be who you are and to be always seeking to be who God wants you to be. If you like being called a “tomboy,” then you can call yourself one. If not, you can just be a special kind of girl who likes hunting and Tae Kwon Do.

I also want you to remember that God does not want us to judge those people who choose this surgery or to make fun of them. He loves them even though they sin, just like he loves us even though we sin.

Thank you so much for reading to the end of this post. If you use this to help explain this sensitive subject, I would love if you would come back and share with all of us in the comments.

Coping with the Death of a Sibling





After chemo and steroids had changed her appearance.



It’s been over seven years since my sister died.

Cancer.

Thanks.

No, I’ll never be “okay” again, but I appreciate the sentiment.

She was diagnosed with cancer at 24 years old and died a few months after her 25th birthday.

One of my favorites from before diagnosis.

 

At the funeral, I felt numb half of the time. That was the easy part; the rest of the time, I felt like my heart was being ripped from my chest. Friends asked if I was okay—of course I wasn’t. A large part of my life had been taken away and there would always be a hole there.

When I walked into the funeral home that morning, my brother and half-sister met me in the entry way. All I could think was that one of us was missing. They must have felt it too and we fell together in a three-way embrace.

We cried, held each other up when our knees buckled, and smiled through our tears at some memory of her. We were safe and loved in this cocoon of arms, heads and tears.

How long we stood there, I’m not sure. Other mourners and family members passed by, but no one bothered us.

We stood for some time not speaking, just holding each other up. Words were unnecessary in our sibling cocoon—this embrace was all that was needed. Words could not replace our loss; but knowing we were there for each other somehow made it more bearable.

In the days following her death, we returned to this embrace several times. We blocked out the world feeling closer to each other, and closer to Rebekah.

It’s been awhile since the three of us have been together. I think it may be time to revisit this hug. And someday in heaven, we will share it with Rebekah too.

Have you lost someone before their time? How did your family cope?

10 Ways to Teach Children the True Spirit of Christmas

In this world of consumerism and blatant disregard for others feelings, wants, needs, and happiness, I think it is time to take a step back an look at what we are teaching the future generation. ( I am guilty also--I'm certainly not pointing fingers.) Knowing many of you out there are facing this same dilemma, I created a list of activities you can do with your children to keep the true Spirit of Christmas alive.


1.  Bake cookies to take to your local nursing home, (some nursing homes may not allow this--you could also knit, crochet, or sew a small gift or ornament, or just go and visit with the residents   there).

They may not be pretty but the kids had a blast making these cookies.

2.  Volunteer at a local homeless shelter or soup kitchen if your children are old enough (or maybe a food pantry if you have younger children). Or take toys and games to a local Children's hospital and stay to visit and play with the children who have to be in the hospital this time of year. (Please don't take a sick child to the hospital to play with other sick children...we don't want to spread germs around. There are plenty of children in the hospital though who are not contagious--I would definitely call ahead for this one though).

3.  Adopt an Angel from the Angel Tree and let your child help with the shopping. (If you need to answer Santa questions, remind your child of the gifts he or she gets from parents, siblings etc and that these moms and dads also want to be able to give their child something). There are other options here as well, such as Operation Christmas Child, Toys for Tots etc.

4.  If you have the means, adopt a whole Christmas family! They may need everything from tree and trimmings to food for Christmas dinner as well as gifts for under the tree.

5.  Make secret gift baskets for your neighbors. When you deliver the basket, ring their doorbell and run (the kids will love the "secret" part of this one.

6.  Encourage your children to part with gently used books and toys they no longer play with. Explain that you will take them to a store where parents who can't afford new toys can buy them for their children. (Personally, I shop second-hand stores even when I have the means to purchase new...I find excellent deals on books especially).

7.  Have a homemade Christmas where none of the gifts are store-bought. (Or you can allow your child to ask for only one or two special gifts and have the rest be homemade).

I made this "Rapunzel" hat for Munchkin last Christmas.

8.  Shop local businesses instead of big box stores so that area merchants can have a good Christmas too. (Chances are, those gifts are of higher quality as well). Explain to your children why you are shopping local vendors. (I frequently order cupcakes or cookies from a local bakery even though I enjoy making those things for myself...it keeps my money in the community).

9.  Make a big deal of it when your child does something to help someone else. Tell them how proud you are...they are more likely to do it again if you notice and praise them for it.

10.  Take your children to church, not just at Christmas, but year-round. Pray for them and with them, remembering those less fortunate in your prayers. Opportunities to volunteer abound in churches...volunteer! Keep the spirit of giving alive all year. (If you don't like the church you previously attended or visited, keep looking...find the church God is leading you to.)

I hope this list gives you some ideas on how to keep the Christmas spirit alive in your family. Feel free to add your own ideas in the comments section, and stay tuned for more Christmas posts and tutorials for hand-made gifts.

Check out my link party page to see where I am linking.

What's Your Status?

Please allow me a few moments to rant about one of my biggest pet peeves. The touching stories on Facebook or other social media, or even via text message which, at the end of them say, "Repost if you love God, if you do not repost you are ashamed of Him" or any other such nonsense.

I am a Christian, and many times those stories touch me so that I would feel inclined to share them...however, nine times out of ten I do not. My reason for not reposting such stories is that I feel it cheapens my relationship with God to have to defend it to another person by reposting. I hope that my friends and my family are able to know by my actions that I am a child of God, and I certainly don't think I need to repost a story in order to affirm my beliefs.

After all, a non-believer can just as easily hit "share" and have others think highly of him, but it is much more difficult for a non-believer to walk the walk with Jesus by his side. You cannot see Jesus in a non-believer, his life is not changed, but he reposted your story...so he must be a Christian right? This type of thinking can easily lead non-believers down the wrong path, and possibly believers too. They see someone post an "I love God" story, then look at that persons life and see the misery of a lost person...lost people have enough misery in their life already, why would they want to become a Christian? On the other hand, a changed life, a joyful life; that is something that people want. If you have joy in your life and are able to share that joy with others even when you are facing trials, that is the mark of a true Christian--not a Facebook status update.

So, to my family and friends, please do not ever think that I will think less of you if you do not repost the silly chain-letter "I love God" as your status "for one hour so that something good will happen." Instead, take the few seconds it would take to repost that story, and check in with God for a true "status update." Instead of thinking God will answer your prayer because you reposted some nonsense, ask in faith, believing that He will answer, and He will. God doesn't care what your Facebook status update says...He cares about the status of your heart, and whether or not it belongs to Him.

End of rant...thank you for listening!

How do you feel about those "chain" posts? Do you repost?

"Ye Who Are Weary, Come Home"

How many times have we heard those words? "Ye who are weary, come home..." Personally, I'm certain I have heard them hundreds of times, but never before have they affected me as they did tonight. I was on my way to church listening to my Alan Jackson CD Precious Memories, when the song Softly and Tenderly starts playing.

I was singing along as always, minding my own business when suddenly those words connected in my mind to Rebekah (my sister passed away almost 5 years ago.) It just hit me that she was "weary." I know she must have been; so tired of battling her cancer, weary of the hospitals and chemo and radiation, tired of the pain she was in and of not being able to communicate with her family. I had never before put this song into this context, so many times I felt instead that we were robbed; that she was stolen from us before her time.

I know she would not have wanted to leave her family behind either, but when God called her to "come home," I believe she answered that call as one of the "weary." And when she got there, I know her burdens were lifted and she was able to look down on her family with a smile, knowing that we all are in His hands! She no longer knows sorrow or sadness, she is with her Maker, she is with family members who have gone before, and she eagerly awaits the day when we are called home to join her. And there will be great rejoicing.

The sudden understanding that she was one of the weary really impacted me. She did not leave her home, she went to her Home! Here are two of my favorite pictures of her--total opposites in terms of her appearance, but both beautiful in their own way.

Beautiful picture of my sister when she was healthy.

Another beautiful picture of my sister after cancer and it's treatments changed her outward appearance. Inside, though, she was still the same beautiful Rebekah that we will always love and never forget.

Thank you for reading along and letting me share. If you knew her, you will never forget her, and if you didn't, I just hope this post touches you in regards to someone you do know.

Check out my Link Parties page for a list of all the parties I link to each week.