The Great Bathroom Debate

Okay, so someone somewhere passed a law that tells us where we can legally use the bathroom.

Wow, can you say “micromanage?” I mean, really? Can you tell me which brand of toilet paper to use? Oh, and I would love to know which hand I am supposed to be wiping with. Should I use soap afterward? Or hand sanitizer? I’m not really sure.

Why on earth are we giving someone else this kind of control to micromanage our lives?

I know some will say, “But I don’t want those perverts in there with my daughter,” and I could agree, but I won’t. Hear me out…

Men that identify as women will be dressed as a woman (maybe to the point where you wouldn’t even know the difference, barring a physical check of parts…which is just “eww” to even think about). Most of them have been using the women’s restroom for years. If they were in a woman’s dress and walked into the men’s room, wouldn’t that seem just as strange?

These people may have a perverted sense of self, but probably are not “perverts” in the way that we use that word. It’s not the man in the dress that is taking pictures of our daughters in the public bathrooms. It is some other deviant who has snuck into the bathroom for purposes other than relieving their bladder.

I completely agree with wanting to keep our children (boys and girls both) safe while using public restrooms. Here are a few ways we can keep them safer:

-Check the bathroom before they enter. (It’s ok to open the door and ask “Is anyone in here?” before physically walking in (if you are not the gender of the child using the restroom.)

-Teach your child to physically check each stall and look under the doors of stalls that appear to be locked and empty.

-Teach your child to be aware of their surroundings—not playing on their phones or listening to music (headphones) while in public bathrooms.

-Have your child use the family restroom.

-Go into the restroom with your child (if you are the same gender or your child is very young).

There is so much hate being spewed about this bathroom “issue” that really was not an issue for transgender people (as they were already using the bathroom they self-identified with). Honestly, non-transgenders did not have issues with the previous arrangement. In fact, maybe we were blissfully unaware that the high heels and pantyhose in the next stall belonged to a man.

We are called to love as Jesus loves.

Jesus came to save sinners, not the righteous. And guess what! “There is none righteous, not even one.” Romans 3:10.

“All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23

That means that last week, when you looked down your secretary’s shirt, or wished your husband looked like Brad Pitt instead of Danny DeVito, you sinned too. There is no “big sin” or “small sin,” there is just sin.

That means that Caitlyn Jenner’s sin and my sin are EQUAL in the eyes of God. Not only that, but as I am judging Caitlyn on ‘her’ sin, God is judging me on mine.

It is not my business how Caitlyn chooses to live her life unless God calls me to speak to her as a friend to lead her towards Him.

If we are busy judging and spewing hate, we are missing opportunities and closing doors. The Bible tells us in 1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from ALL unrighteousness.” (Please note: this does not say “all unrighteousness except being a transgender person.” ALL means ALL. Everyone has the opportunity for God to cleanse them of their sins, including Caitlyn Jenner.)

So, unless you are without sin (in which case, I am very pleased that Jesus/God saw fit to read my blog post), I would propose that we learn to love people where they are and pray for God to move in their lives so that they become who He wants them to be.

Here is another post I wrote on gender identity and guiding your children to biblical truths.

I welcome respectfully worded comments.

Encouragement is SO Important

 

I recently attended the Mid-South Christian Writer’s Conference. I learned many things I didn't know, and was reminded of things I did know. One such reminder was from keynote speaker, Edie Melson. She said “You are blessed if you have a spouse who supports your writing.”

Yep. I agree with Edie, wholeheartedly. 100%  I know this perhaps better than others because my husband does not support my writing, and refuses to read any of my stories or blog posts. I have to work harder to follow my dream knowing that he doesn’t want me to. (I am blessed to have my mom for support, but I can use all the encouragement I can get.)

My husband knows that my ultimate goal is to quit my job and support myself (and my family) through writing, and frankly, I think this scares him to death.

You see, I am the primary breadwinner right now. My husband does work, and his job pays decent for our area, but I do make more. My nursing position has allowed our family to enjoy some comforts that we might not have otherwise. So, I can understand not wanting to give that up.

Additionally, I have embarked on several money making opportunities in the past, that did not pan out; jewelry parties, in-home daycare, and telemarketing from home have made my husband leery of any unconventional ideas. (Probably for good reason.)

I understand that my track-record is not the best, but this is not a get rich quick scheme. I don’t plan to get rich with my writing, and getting rich is not my goal. It could be a wonderful by-product, but I am not trying to be the next J.K. Rowling here.

I don't think he really understands where I am coming from with this writing stuff. First, I have stories in me that are begging to be written. Second, I love writing and I love being home with the kids. And third, I am not going to quit my job on a whim. I actually have a plan.

I plan to begin replacing my income by self-publishing books on the side. Until I am generating sufficient income from those books, I plan to continue working.

While I am waiting for my book income to be sufficient, I plan to work on reducing our overall debt. With fewer bills, less income is required to get through the month. For example, if I can reduce our bill payments by $1,000 per month, then we should be able to live on $1,000 less income per month as well.

Perhaps my husband would be more understanding if I could find a way to explain all of this to him. I certainly feel that my writing, and my self-confidence, would improve with his support.

Does your spouse or significant other support your writing? If not, do you have another person in your life who shows their support? If you don't have someone who fills this void in your writer's life, find someone! Trust me, it's important.

Plotting AND Pantsing my way to a Novel (or Two)

 

Plotter and Pantser are just labels, and I don’t fall wholly into either category. I am currently writing two different novels (crazy, right?), each using a completely different approach. Actually, both of these novels have been on the back burner for some time, but I am looking to begin working on them again.


The historical fiction novel I am working on has been a little more to the plotting side of things. I determined a basic course of action for my character before I ever sat down to write, and I have jumped around very little, writing mostly from the beginning through to the end. With the exception being, I do have a rough sketch of the middle finished after reading “Write Your Novel from the Middle” by James Scott Bell.

I have my plot points outlined in my head (probably on paper too if I could find the right notebook). I have differed very little from my original outline, other than to add something I originally considered backstory. I decided to make it the event that gets my characters “up a tree.” I love the direction this book is headed, and I enjoy the way that I am writing it.

　

On the pantsing side of things, is my speculative fiction novel. First of all, I never planned to write speculative fiction—ever. I still don’t see myself as a spec-fiction writer. I began this book with a bit of flash fiction in response to a photo prompt on Flash Friday.

I wrote the one little scene and then put it down, but I couldn’t get the characters out of my head. They wouldn’t let me be, but when I sat down to try to outline, I got nothing. The characters wouldn’t speak to me. So, I decided to try a different approach.

The next time Flash Friday rolled around, I took my characters and placed them in the picture prompt. Suddenly, my characters were speaking to me again, and I was able to get another scene down on paper.

Most Fridays, I could add to my growing stack of scenes. Though they are just little tidbits, when I flesh them out, I think I will have a pretty decent start on a novel.

Unfortunately, Flash Friday has since ceased to provide picture prompts, so I will need to prompt myself to finish this one.

　

Speaking of prompts, I plan to post a prompt to this blog, (in the form of a picture, bit of dialogue, word, or phrase) each Wednesday throughout the summer. (This was originally requested by a student in the Creative Writing class I teach for my local homeschool co-op, but everyone is welcome to play along.)

Are you a plotter, pantser, or somewhere in between? I’d love to hear more about your writing process. Leave me a comment!

Are we asking for earthly praise?

I was blessed to hear another great message this weekend from Pastor Craig at +Life.Church  My Monday posts won’t always be about Life Church, but I feel compelled to share this.

Pastor Craig is currently doing a series called “Love Like Jesus.” Last week’s message was on forgiveness. (See this post from last Monday.) This week’s message is on serving. 4/10/16

Something Pastor Craig said really hit home with me.He said we should be honored to use our gifts to impact someone else’s life (without getting credit).

Ouch. I enjoy serving, but I also (pridefully) want others to know about this great thing I did.

I don’t want to shout it from the rooftops, but can I just tell my brother? Or my mom? Come on…let me tell someone! I need them to tell me how great it was that I did this thing.

Wait, what? I NEED(?) them to tell me I did a great work? Why do I need anyone to tell me I did something great? Firstly, that’s all ego. Secondly, the Bible tells me to serve.

Jesus said “whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me” (from Matthew 25:40 NIV). Those who served in the way Jesus commanded, will have their reward someday in heaven. I know this to be truth. But I still struggle.



Earthly validation and praise make us feel good while we are here, but do nothing for us in heaven.


As a matter of fact, the Bible says “Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.” (Matthew 6:1 NIV)

If you struggle with this as I do, I encourage you to read Matthew chapter 6. What?! If I do this for show, I have already had my reward? Ouch again!

This is a very real personal struggle for me. I have had to consider long and hard what my priorities in life and Christian service will be. I performed an act of service (and even now, I want to tell y’all what it was), and I wanted to tell my brother why it took me so long to meet him…then I wanted to tell my stepson so that he would consider others before himself.

Both of those sound like good reasons to tell someone, but I know it would really be to stroke my own ego. Only my daughter saw what I did, and I explained to her why I did it. Partly because she asked and partly because I want her to grow up with a servant’s heart.

The last point that really stuck with me was that if you look and listen and care, you will find opportunities to serve everywhere. Keep watching for them, and don’t borrow from the glory that God deserves when you act in His service.

Is this something you struggle with? Is the praise of others important to you, or do you serve in secret, anticipating your heavenly reward?

Is it Monday Already?

Blargh, It’s Monday again. Time to leave your family and go back to the everyday monotony that is work. If you are blessed to have a job that you love, praise God for it. If not, I have a few tidbits for you. I had planned to share this as part of a larger post later this month, but God laid it on my heart yesterday to go ahead and post it(and helped me to wake up early enough to finish it).

For the last few weeks I have been attending a church that streams in messages from +Life.Church . The pastor yesterday spoke about forgiveness, and used the very verse I had planned to share. Click here for the message from 4/3/2016.

Jesus tells us “…love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,” Matthew 5:44

If you have a job you love, thank God for your blessings and pray for others who are not so fortunate. If you dislike your current job or situation at work, pray about it.

God knows our wants, but He also wants us to ask for help and believe that He will help. It may not be in the way that you expect, or ask for. Your boss may not get run over by a bus, but he might transfer to another department, or get an unexpected job offer in another state.

Try to pray for your boss as well. Pray for good things for him instead of evil. If nothing else, it will help your own outlook, but it may help his as well.

What is your Monday motivation this week? Is there a verse or quote you are focusing on to get you through it?