Do I really have to obey my husband?

As a wife, God has called me to be obedient to my husband. In this particular thing, I must admit that I have failed Him time and time again.

I have never liked that word, “obey.” I made sure the preacher did not use it in our wedding ceremony and I considered myself to be excluded from that command.

“Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands…” 1 Peter 3:1

Yep, that one. That verse was written a long time ago. Women did not have jobs or rights back then. Surely God did not mean for that to apply to me.

“Actually, I did.”

I mean, I’m a strong, independent woman.

“So…”

I have a job and am a provider for our family. Actually, I make MORE money than he does. Shouldn’t he defer to me instead?

“No, No, and No” 

But…

“You’re just not getting this, are you?”

But God, my husband does not believe like I do.

“So”

Well, surely that excuses me, I mean he can’t possibly know what is right for me in your eyes.

“My command stands.”

What?!

“It stands, read the rest of the verse.” “That even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives,”

But, God, he won’t even let me tithe out of my own money, so I have to disobey him, right?

“No. Obey him.”

But, God…

“I know you want to tithe, but it should not be a point of discord in your marriage.”

http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/money-and-finances/money-management-in-marriage/tithing-when-your-spouse-objects

“When you place yourself under your husband’s authority, you are also under his umbrella of protection. If your husband is a believer, he is under My umbrella. If he is a non-believer, you are still under My umbrella of protection because you have followed my commands. If you remove yourself from his authority, you are also denying My authority over you.”

I felt led to write this post as a conversation between myself and God. I believe God spoke to my heart as I was writing. 

But I also know there is corruption in the world, and there are men who abuse their wives and children.

Personally, I cannot tell you what to do in that situation. My belief is that this alters the circumstance to a certain degree.

If you are in a situation of abuse, and seeking a way out, I suggest that you pour your heart out to God and listen for his guidance.

I’m not asking you to wait for an audible answer, but if you pray for God’s guidance and your phone rings on the “Amen,” it may be an answer to your prayer. It could be your sister, on her way with a truck to get you moved out, or it could be your husband, calling to apologize and tell you he wants to try counseling.

Just listen for God’s guidance. If you are in this situation now, I pray that God will give you peace about whatever answer He sends.

The opinions expressed here are my own, and are just that, opinions.

Feel free to share your own story or experience in the comments below.

Writing Prompt Wednesday 5/18/16

Another week; another Writing Prompt Wednesday. 

Here’s how it works. Each Wednesday throughout the summer, I will post some sort of writing prompt on this blog. It might be a picture, a word or phrase, or a bit of dialogue. It could even be a feeling or a smell.

Anyone who wishes to play along may write a scene or an entire story using the prompt. You can keep these stories to yourself if you like, using this as an exercise for your writing brain, or you may share with us in the comments below. Occasionally I will share my scene or story as well.

If you choose to share your story in the comments, please keep it clean. I started this series by request of a student, and would like to keep it where people of all ages and backgrounds can participate.

There are no winners and losers here, no prizes or fame to be had. My intent is for everyone who participates to have fun and be encouraged. 

Here is the writing prompt for this week.

              Hot dogs and coffee.

Here are a few questions to get you started. Why hot dogs and coffee? Who is eating? Is this breakfast or lunch? Does this combination taste good to them?

Remember, you can answer all of the questions, some or none.

_________________________________

"Those earthlings don't know what they are missing" Valdar spoke into his comlink. "They don't even eat hotdogs and coffee in the same meal, much less together."

"Is it better than pah pah and kesh?" asked a tinny voice over the comlink.

"Oh yes! They have this goop called mustard to put on the hotdog, and if you dip the hotdog in your coffee, it is amazing. The mustard helps flavor the coffee and the coffee makes the hot dog bun so soft and yummy."

"Well, maybe we could leave a human or two alive long enough to teach us how to make this delicacy. I will join you soon for lunch."

________________________

Thanks for reading. I'd love to hear your interpretation: add it in the comments.

Encouragement is SO Important

 

I recently attended the Mid-South Christian Writer’s Conference. I learned many things I didn't know, and was reminded of things I did know. One such reminder was from keynote speaker, Edie Melson. She said “You are blessed if you have a spouse who supports your writing.”

Yep. I agree with Edie, wholeheartedly. 100%  I know this perhaps better than others because my husband does not support my writing, and refuses to read any of my stories or blog posts. I have to work harder to follow my dream knowing that he doesn’t want me to. (I am blessed to have my mom for support, but I can use all the encouragement I can get.)

My husband knows that my ultimate goal is to quit my job and support myself (and my family) through writing, and frankly, I think this scares him to death.

You see, I am the primary breadwinner right now. My husband does work, and his job pays decent for our area, but I do make more. My nursing position has allowed our family to enjoy some comforts that we might not have otherwise. So, I can understand not wanting to give that up.

Additionally, I have embarked on several money making opportunities in the past, that did not pan out; jewelry parties, in-home daycare, and telemarketing from home have made my husband leery of any unconventional ideas. (Probably for good reason.)

I understand that my track-record is not the best, but this is not a get rich quick scheme. I don’t plan to get rich with my writing, and getting rich is not my goal. It could be a wonderful by-product, but I am not trying to be the next J.K. Rowling here.

I don't think he really understands where I am coming from with this writing stuff. First, I have stories in me that are begging to be written. Second, I love writing and I love being home with the kids. And third, I am not going to quit my job on a whim. I actually have a plan.

I plan to begin replacing my income by self-publishing books on the side. Until I am generating sufficient income from those books, I plan to continue working.

While I am waiting for my book income to be sufficient, I plan to work on reducing our overall debt. With fewer bills, less income is required to get through the month. For example, if I can reduce our bill payments by $1,000 per month, then we should be able to live on $1,000 less income per month as well.

Perhaps my husband would be more understanding if I could find a way to explain all of this to him. I certainly feel that my writing, and my self-confidence, would improve with his support.

Does your spouse or significant other support your writing? If not, do you have another person in your life who shows their support? If you don't have someone who fills this void in your writer's life, find someone! Trust me, it's important.

Writing Prompt Wednesday 5/11/16

Another week; another Writing Prompt Wednesday. 

Here’s how it works. Each Wednesday throughout the summer, I will post some sort of writing prompt on this blog. It might be a picture, a word or phrase, or a bit of dialogue. It could even be a feeling or a smell.

Anyone who wishes to play along may write a scene or an entire story using the prompt. You can keep these stories to yourself if you like, using this as an exercise for your writing brain, or you may share with us in the comments below. Occasionally I will share my scene or story as well.

If you choose to share your story in the comments, please keep it clean. I started this series by request of a student, and would like to keep it where people of all ages and backgrounds can participate.

There are no winners and losers here, no prizes or fame to be had. My intent is for everyone who participates to have fun and be encouraged. 

Here is the writing prompt for this week.

A few questions to get you started: What kind of spider is this? Why is it this color?  Where is it going? Who saw it? (Remember, you don't have to address every question: I only answered two in the story below.)

_______________________

"Who knew you could Kool-Aid dye a spider?" asked Kasey, "That is the cutest spider I have ever seen."

"Cute?" said Kim, "You have got to be kidding me...I was trying to kill the ugly thing. I hate spiders!"

"You shouldn't kill spiders, they are highly beneficial," said Kasey.

"I don't care if they can cure cancer and eliminate world hunger," said Kim, "they all need to die."

___________________________

Thanks for reading. Leave your story or scene in the comments if you would like.

The Big Lie that TV is Telling our Children

Watching TV tonight, I noticed a recurring theme; something I have never really paid attention to before, though it should have been obvious.

This recurring theme is alcohol. When anyone had a bad day on this show, they would go have a drink. When they had a good day, they go have a drink.

This programming is sending signals to our children, and not good ones. Our kids begin to think that drinking is the proper and “grown up” way to deal with their problems, as well as the best way to celebrate.

When I have a bad day, I go to bed early, cry myself to sleep, or binge watch my favorite TV show. Sometimes I curl up with a great book and lose myself in the pages for awhile. I am experienced enough to know that alcohol will not solve my problems. In the morning, I get up, go to work—and meet the problem head on.

We need to be teaching our children to face their problems. They need to learn to lean on a friend, get counseling if needed, work harder, try again, take out frustrations through exercise or journaling, or building and destroying Lego sculptures.

Instead, we let the sitcoms teach them that alcohol is the answer.

When someone on TV is battling alcoholism, the TV lies. This person is still their normal, beautiful self, but with an alcohol problem. Long-term alcohol abuse changes the body; sunken eyes, sallow skin, red face, dull hair.

Ever notice how “easy” it is to “recover” from alcohol abuse on these shows? In just a few episodes, they have moved past the alcoholism and can enjoy a social drink with their buddies again.

This isn’t how alcoholism works people! You don’t just get over it and go back to social drinking. You might pull it off for awhile, but eventually a trigger will cause the alcoholism to begin spiraling out of control again.

Chronic alcohol abuse ravages the body and mind. I’ve seen men in their 40s, living in Nursing homes with alcohol-induced dementia, who have lost control of their bowel and bladder functions. Men who could no longer feed themselves or wipe their own butt.

Alcoholism tears families apart. People say things when they are drinking that they would never dream of saying sober. They drive away their friends and family and go deeper in the bottle because everyone has “abandoned them.”

And yet, we glorify alcohol on TV. We let our teenagers, and even younger kids watch these lies, and we don’t bother to tell them the truth. We assume they already know it because we know it.

Oh yeah? How did you learn? Experience? Watching it tear someone’s life apart? Spoon feeding applesauce to a 40 year old man because he let alcohol ruin his life and he can no longer feed himself?

And now? Will you teach them? Or let them learn the hard way?

Writing Prompt Wednesday 5/4/16

Well, it’s Wednesday and I still have not come up with a hip name for my Writing Prompt Wednesday, so guess what we are going to call it. That’s right! Writing Prompt Wednesday.

Here’s how it’s going to work. Each Wednesday throughout the summer, I will post some sort of writing prompt on this blog. It might be a picture, a word or phrase, or a bit of dialogue. It could even be a feeling or a smell.

Anyone who wishes to play along may write a scene or an entire story using the prompt. You can keep these stories to yourself if you like, using this as an exercise for your writing brain, or you may share with us in the comments below. Occasionally I will share my scene or story as well.

If you choose to share your story in the comments, please keep it clean. I started this series by request of a student, and would like to keep it where people of all ages and backgrounds can participate.

There are no winners and losers here, no prizes or fame to be had. My intent is for everyone who participates to have fun and be encouraged.

Here is the writing prompt for this week.

You open the door to your backyard and see this. How did it get there? Where did it come from? What are you going to do about it?  (These are just some questions to get you thinking...answer one, all or none.) Have fun.

Plotting AND Pantsing my way to a Novel (or Two)

 

Plotter and Pantser are just labels, and I don’t fall wholly into either category. I am currently writing two different novels (crazy, right?), each using a completely different approach. Actually, both of these novels have been on the back burner for some time, but I am looking to begin working on them again.


The historical fiction novel I am working on has been a little more to the plotting side of things. I determined a basic course of action for my character before I ever sat down to write, and I have jumped around very little, writing mostly from the beginning through to the end. With the exception being, I do have a rough sketch of the middle finished after reading “Write Your Novel from the Middle” by James Scott Bell.

I have my plot points outlined in my head (probably on paper too if I could find the right notebook). I have differed very little from my original outline, other than to add something I originally considered backstory. I decided to make it the event that gets my characters “up a tree.” I love the direction this book is headed, and I enjoy the way that I am writing it.

　

On the pantsing side of things, is my speculative fiction novel. First of all, I never planned to write speculative fiction—ever. I still don’t see myself as a spec-fiction writer. I began this book with a bit of flash fiction in response to a photo prompt on Flash Friday.

I wrote the one little scene and then put it down, but I couldn’t get the characters out of my head. They wouldn’t let me be, but when I sat down to try to outline, I got nothing. The characters wouldn’t speak to me. So, I decided to try a different approach.

The next time Flash Friday rolled around, I took my characters and placed them in the picture prompt. Suddenly, my characters were speaking to me again, and I was able to get another scene down on paper.

Most Fridays, I could add to my growing stack of scenes. Though they are just little tidbits, when I flesh them out, I think I will have a pretty decent start on a novel.

Unfortunately, Flash Friday has since ceased to provide picture prompts, so I will need to prompt myself to finish this one.

　

Speaking of prompts, I plan to post a prompt to this blog, (in the form of a picture, bit of dialogue, word, or phrase) each Wednesday throughout the summer. (This was originally requested by a student in the Creative Writing class I teach for my local homeschool co-op, but everyone is welcome to play along.)

Are you a plotter, pantser, or somewhere in between? I’d love to hear more about your writing process. Leave me a comment!